“Shake this off…”

I got a private message Saturday morning from someone who is now no longer on my friends list, blasting me, about writing about my battles with depression on Facebook.

“Nobody wants to read all of that doom and gloom on your page so knock it off. Shake it off and get on with your life dumbass.”

Next thing was to remove and block. BYE BYE.

This kind of stuff really pisses me off. This person added that I should be embarrassed to write about it and keep this stuff to myself.

Sorry, can’t do that and you’re gone.

I know there must be a lot of people who agree with him because a lot of people have removed me from their friends list. Guess they really weren’t friends to begin with right?

A real friend walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

I only write about my experiences in case someone else is dealing with depression but is too embarrassed to talk about it. They’re worried about what other people will say or how they will act toward them. A little part of me still does worry but nothing like I did before. Who are they to judge me? There is only one judge and one day I will have to stand before him.

For those who don’t have depression, I’m thrilled for you. But let me explain to you how it feels. You might have a bad day at work or something goes wrong at work and it makes you mad or frustrated. Well for me, when that happens, the feeling is 1000x worse. It can spin you day 180 degrees in the matter of a few seconds.

My boss sent me an email the other day from a guy who was just ripping the two websites I maintain for the radio stations. classicrock931.com and ksgm980.com. Just ripping them. I emailed my boss back and said I was sorry they’re an embarrassment but it’s the best I can do. I’m not professionally trained. I told my boss that I’m proud of how they look and represent the station. He emailed me back and said that since I’m proud, that’s all that matters to him. So he had my back and I appreciate that very, very much.

And for someone to tell me to shake it off and move on? Seriously? Nothing pisses me off more than hearing the words “shake it off.” What in the blue hell do you think this is? Did you think I just fell down and should “shake it off?” Why don’t you take a kick to the privates there captain know it all and then “shake it off.”

As far as I’m concerned with my feelings, when I’m depressed, I don’t want words of wisdom or encouragement… I just want someone to listen. Just listen. I don’t expect you to have the magic words, I don’t. Just lend me your ear and listen to me. Give me your undivided attention, let me wind myself up and go.

Nine times out of 10, I’ll feel better when I’m done. Kinda like this. =)

I’m not one to bother people either. I really keep to myself like a recluse. This is basically my only touch with the outside world. I have a great house, a great job, my little buddy cat Queenie and you. What more could I ask for at this point in my life… well yeah, money, but still…

I’m still gonna fall asleep tonight and will wake up in the morning. When my feet hit the floor, I want the devil below to think “oh chit, he’s awake.”

It’s during times like this when you find out who your real friends are.

Enjoy your weekend…